One Who Tried

It's not supposed to be that hard to have at least decent communication..Or so I thought. Ah well, seems that I'm not up to chase pavement. Enough now..
Although in the other hand, I just realized how I miss being in a relationship.
The feelings, the chemistry, the togetherness, the convinience, fiuhh.. even the hustle & bustle of it.
But ofcourse, it wasn't at all the reason of my effort. Simply coz it might had been worth a try.

Culture Shock

I just blurted it out, after had had it bugging my mind for quite a while.
Even for a person like me with cocktail point a view, I think I just got a culture shock.
A so called beginning of relationship had been always started with chemistry followed by such great effort to get to know the other person first before actually deciding to get together. 
But this one has started and then continues from exactly the other end backward.
I felt like it's going somewhere but I don't know for sure if it really does.
No one would know what will happen but at least, one gotta know for sure what she's doing, no?!!

I've never realized how intense those relationships I'd had. They were really time and mind consuming - not in a bad way cause I had good times, great times in fact. But then I still found my self adapted and thought and planned and hoped and put everything in to it way too much.

I'd still need to know if we are going somewhere, or not, and where.. but this is actually what I wanted to have in my last relationship - to take the time..
Funny that now things go like what I wanted, yet I tended to still holding on with how things had been going on.

One thing hasn't changed though, in a way time is still my enemy.

Anyway, due to such a bad mood I found my self half yelling to a guy who arranges taxi in Global Village.
Racism..it was not fair.. But still, I can't remember the last time I was in such an angry & emotional state, It must had been over 10 years ago..  especially just for things that didn't really worth to fight for.
Sigh...restons Zen...

Acquintance

I believe that's the word stuck in my days lately..
Barely a friendship and forget about the so called relationship thing.
It's when you don't even bug an inch out of your fortress nor care enough to let the door open.

I always think I'm a pretty sensitive person and somehow I knew how the story would go.
And like always, I'm right.
What struck me was, the fact that this is the many times I let my self keep going on while I know I should really stop. I hate this feeling.. I also hate that good things never last.
And I also hate the fact that romance is just something else where logic can't really be applied accordingly..
As someone would say, yeah that's life, no?!!
This time, unless things go the other way around, I'm gonna stop.